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The Hardest Thing in This World is to Live in It  
by C.R.M. Nilsson

I came out to my mum when I was twenty-six. She’d been nagging me very insistently about wanting grandchildren. While I can have sex, the very idea of pregnancy makes me physically ill. Whenever friends have asked me to feel the baby kicking, it makes me flee the room.

It sparked a fight, my coming out. She told me there was something wrong with me. I had my hormones checked, visited a few psychologists and had a number of other exams. There’s nothing abnormal. I’m healthy. I told her that there’s nothing wrong with me.

We haven’t spoken in years.


Copyright C.R.M. Nilsson 2010

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